In families, in relationships and in friendships, conflict is inevitable. But remember – conflict is natural and happens in every ongoing relationship. It’s just unavoidable. So in saying that, we must learn to manage it. Conflict is a sign of a need for change and an opportunity for growth, new understanding, and improved communication. It can’t be resolved unless it is addressed properly and healthily.
And how do you do that? It takes maturity. You’re going to have to do your best to be calm and listen.
Analyze the conflict, and ask yourself:
- What triggered the conflict?
- Who are you angry with?
- What are you not getting that you want?
- What are you afraid of losing?
- Is your conflict/anger accurate or over exaggerated?
- How can your conflict be resolved?
When answering these questions, it’s important to separate the person from the problem. The goal is to resolve the issue, not win. Work together to come to hear each other’s side, find common ground or just agree to disagree.
But always deal with it. Don’t let it simmer for days or weeks.
Avoiding the conflict and venting to others tends to escalate the conflict and fuels the rumor mill. If rumors are already part of the conflict, encourage them to work out a plan to put an end to the gossip.
Do your best to resolve the problem as quickly as possible. But the majority of the time, in order to do so, you’ll need to swallow your pride.
Contact Behavioral Health Services of Virginia
Established 2012, we are a leading provider of mental health services for at-risk youth and persons with mental health disabilities in the State of Virginia.
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