We all want to raise responsible children. And we all want to live in a world where others have been raised to be responsible, a world where adults don’t shrug off their responsibilities as citizens.  

So how do we raise our kids to take responsibility for their choices and their impact on the world?

1. Raise your child with the expectation that we always clean up our own messes

Begin by helping your child, until they learn it. They’ll learn it faster if you can be cheerful and kind about it and remember not to worry about spilled milk. Encourage them to help by handing them a sponge as you pick one up yourself, even when it’s easier to do it yourself. 

2. Kids need an opportunity to contribute to the common good

All children contribute to the rest of us in some way, regularly. Find those ways and comment on them, even if it is just noticing when she is kind to her little brother or that you enjoy how she’s always singing. Whatever behaviors you acknowledge will grow.

3. Make chores fun

No kids want to do chores. Make them as fun as possible. Help them find joy in doing chores. You can do this by playing music during chore time, and celebrating with a fun movie in your newly cleaned space once cleaning is finished.

4. Don’t rush to bail your child out of a difficult situation

Be available for problem-solving, helping them work through their feelings and fears, and to insure that they don’t just sidestep the difficulty, but let them handle the problem themself, whether it requires offering an apology or making amends in a more concrete way.

5. Model responsibility and accountability

Be explicit about the responsible choices you’re making by speaking out loud when you are being responsible. For example, you can say “It’s a pain to carry this trash till we get to the car, but I don’t see a trashcan and we never litter.” Or something like, “This sign says parking is reserved for people with physical challenges, so of course we can’t take that spot.” These appropriate actions may seem obvious to us, but they still need to be explicitly taught.

If you’d like to consider extra support, BHSVA’s therapeutic Youth Mentoring program offers one on one services for youth or adolescents. The focus of our youth mentoring in Virginia services accentuates building life skills in areas of daily living, independent living, problem solving, conflict resolution, and social/interpersonal interaction.

You Don’t Have To Raise Responsible Children On Your Own

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